Chronic Lateness, Unconscious Communication - Today's DailyOM - 7/24/2012

July 24, 2012
Chronic Lateness
Unconscious Communication

by Madisyn Taylor

When people are chronically late, they are in essence saying that their time is more important than yours.

Being late for an appointment or a date can seem like a small thing that really doesn’t matter, but it communicates volumes, whether we mean it to or not. Being kept waiting is an experience that almost no one enjoys, because at best, it wastes their time, and at worst, it indicates a lack of regard. It’s as if we’re saying that our time is more important than their time, so we don’t need to honor them by showing up when we said we would. When we are running late, it means a lot if we call and let the person know, especially if it’s going to be more than ten minutes. However, if we are chronically late, it may take more than a phone call to properly address the issue.

If it’s become a habit of ours not to be on time, we may want to look inside ourselves and see what’s going on. It’s easy enough to make excuses about our behavior, or to project responsibility on the other person, perceiving them to be uptight if they are irritated by our tardiness. What’s more difficult, and more meaningful, is looking at ourselves and asking why it is that we always, or often, show up late. Sometimes this happens out of a lack of self-regard, as if we aren’t really important anyway, so why will anyone care if we’re late, or don’t show up at all. Chronic lateness can also stem from being disorganized, or simply trying to do too much in one day. Another possible reason for being late to a particular appointment, or date, is that we don’t really want to be there. We communicate our disinterest or boredom by not showing up on time. 


http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2012/34340.html


Well, today's DailyOM struck a note with me - one that was slightly off.  Why?  Because I have been battling chronic lateness in a few areas of my life for as long as I can remember, so I am a bit sensitive in this area.  I love the DailyOM, but this one slightly misses the mark for me.  Sometimes what we communicate to others is a product of their own history...I am not making excuses for lateness, I have spent hours waiting for others and been on both sides of this issue.  I am saying that in order to effect real change, it is important to understand what is causing YOU to be late.  The first step is wanting to change.  The next step is finding an effective tool to make that change.  I am grateful for the tools I have gathered in my hypnotherapy training and I have committed to making effective changes in this area of my life, and many others as well.   I will be posting here with updates on my progress.

With respect and love,
          Gayle